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The top ten advertisers on The Salad Bar:

10: Tylenol.

9: The cafeteria, home to the biggest salad bar on campus.

8: The DJ bomb.

7: The U.S. Postal Service.

6: Woody-to-English dictionary.

5: Milk. (see Woody Eagle)

4: The Woody tranquilizer.

3: The radio hammer.

2: The chick spotter.

1: Elevators 'R Us: Whether you wanna go up or down, we'll still give you the shaft.