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The top ten reasons to get cable this year:

10: For just $25 a month, you don't have to walk all the way to the lounge.

9: What else are you gonna do with that inheritance from your rich uncle? Pay for your college

8: You were abducted by aliens who told you TV is sacred.

7: That cable wire in your room will look dumb just sitting there.

6: You're still not convinced that sitting in the cafeteria and staring at the salad bar during its peak hours can privide adequate entertainment.

5: You think that guy that looks just like Father Matin does better top ten lists than Woody Eagle.

4: You heard there was going to be a cool new RADIO show that you can only hear on TV channel 30 on Wednesday nights from 8 to 10 pm.

3: You felt bad for the poor starving folks at TCI who you can give a hot meal for just $25 a month.

2: You only have 6 months to live and you don't want to miss one exciting episode of The Dukes of Hazard.

1: You want your room to be the new lounge on your block.