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The top ten effects of ElNino on Saint Vincent College:

10: Bookstore unable to freeze prices.

9: Ice skating event on pond unsuccessful.

8: SGA denies funding to polar bear club.

7: Warm fronts at the salad bar.

6: Upper dorms colder than usual because it's not cold enough to turn heat on.

5: Source of ElNino traced back to Wimmer Hall.

4: Little-known retractable roof on Alcuin to be opened for beach party.

3: Security giving parking tickets to mirages.

2: Spanish class watching The Weather Channel in language lab.

1: Three words: Monk swimsuit issue.