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The top 10 things that happen on campus during break:

10: Monk parties in Alcuin.

9: Lacking cars, security gives parking tickets to shrubbery.

8: Dr. Gosser still comes to class.

7: Cafeteria holds annual quality survey.

6: New security booth attendant hired.

5: Biology students found on campus saying "Break, what's that?"

4: WSVC ratings hit yearly low.

3: Magnavision distributes September issue of TV guide.

2: Campus life almost as boring as on weekends.

1: Nothing else to do in bookstore, so they mark-up prices.