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The top ten new channels installed by Magnavision:

10: The Christmas channel, scheduled for arrival in early January.

9: The English Channel.

8: Channel 5

7: The Mystery Channel. (currently channel 3, we never know what it will be)

6: The Magnavision Channel. (You keep expecting it to get better, but it never does)

5: The cooking channel, teaching microwave popcorn. (Crosslisted as the fire prevention channel)

4: The drying paint channel.

3: The Weather channel, currently predicting snow on channels 40+.

2: The Pecoraro gets beat up channel.

1: The gratuitous butt shot channel.