The top ten new channels installed by Magnavision:
10: The Christmas channel, scheduled for arrival in early January.
9: The English Channel.
8: Channel 5
7: The Mystery Channel. (currently channel 3, we never know what it will be)
6: The Magnavision Channel. (You keep expecting it to get better,
but it never does)
5: The cooking channel, teaching microwave popcorn. (Crosslisted as the
fire prevention channel)
4: The drying paint channel.
3: The Weather channel, currently predicting snow on channels 40+.
2: The Pecoraro gets beat up channel.
1: The gratuitous butt shot channel.