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The top 10 ways to celebrate Saint Patrick's Day at Saint Vincent College:

10: Two words: green cans.

9: Listen to Irish DJs that sound like they drink like the Irish.

8: Eat green food in the cafeteria.

7: Use a lot of green pieces of paper at the bookstore.

6: Drink Guinness till Boniface Wimmer starts to look like a leprauchan.

5: Color the fountain behind Wimmer green.

4: Color the fountain behind Wimmer yellow.

3: Wear green and give Woody Eagle the shaft.

2: Wear everything except green, refuse to touch anything green, and moon anybody you see wearing green, because you think the St. Patrick's day traditions are stupid and childish.

1: Hug Woody Eagle, he's Irish.